My Mania Part 2
So... who would go over in this magical WrestleMania of yours, BJ? (Read the previous post for my suggested card.) Well, I'll tell you.
United States Title Match:
Rey Mysterio (or The Hurricane) over MVP by surprise pin
(While I think MVP should win back the title on Smackdown the next week and keep it for a while to build him up, it's the opening match of Mania. The face should go over. In the words of Lance Storm, the crowd wants to pop. Let them pop.)
ECW Ten-Man Tag Match:
The New Breed over the ECW Originals by Snitsky pinning Sabu
(After some high flying spots and wild extreme-style action, Snitsky just takes over and lays some of the originals out. If he is going to be the next to challenge Lashley, I'd start putting him over as a monster here.)
Intercontinental Title Match:
Kenny Dykstra over Super Crazy by small package
(After the match, Kenny demands that referee Steamboat raise his hand over and over again, which Steamboat reluctantly abides. But then Kenny goes too far, demanding Steamboat get on the mic and tell the world that he, Kenny, is the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. When Steamboat refuses, Kenny shoves him. Steamboat responds with karate chops and armdrags that send the young champion scurrying, leaving the legend in the ring for a well-deserved ovation.)
Money in the Bank - Tap-Out Challenge
Chris Benoit over CM Punk in the final 2 by tap-out
(During the match, Benoit and Punk dominate, making all the others tap out to their submission holds. When it goes down to one-on-one, they put on a clinic of holds and reversals until Punk finally gives in to the 10th consecutive crossface. Incidentally, Punk will win the MITB briefcase from Benoit in their follow-up 30-minute Iron Man match at the next Smackdown PPV.)
Motor City Monsters Match:
No contest when they brawl out of the arena and into the parking lot
(In contrast to the previous pure wrestling display, this match just has four monsters fighting all over the building. No issues are solved, but we have a few "Oh my God!" moments of the Great Khali picking up car and throwing it at Kane.)
Retirement Match:
Carlito over Ric Flair by cheating
(Instead of showing Flair the proper respect after the match, Carlito just jumps up and down and overcelebrates the fact that he retired Flair. He doesn't even shake his hand, practically skipping up the aisle. This leaves Flair in the ring to get his deserved ovation.)
TLC Match for the Unified Tag Team Titles:
World's Greatest Tag Team over Kendrick & London and the Hardys
(No need to even describe this one. It's a TLC match.)
Battle of the Billionnaires - Hair vs. Hair Match:
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin (w/ Donald Trump) over Mr. Kennedy (with Mr. McMahon) by Stone Cold Stunner pinfall
(After the match, Austin and Trump take turns shaving McMahon's head while sharing a beer. After realizing they're not good barbers, Trump invites his personal barber to finish the job: Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. After shaving Vince, they enjoy some beers in the ring.)
ECW Title Match - Extreme Rules
Bobby Lashley over Cactus Jack by pinfall
(Foley carries Lashley to a decent hardcore match, ending in a big spot finish. While Lashley is celebrating, Snitsky hits the ring and lays waste to him, ruining his WrestleMania moment.)
World Heavyweight Title Match
The Undertaker over Batista
(In an old-school big man vs. big man match, the two men match power moves until 'Taker finally hits the tombstone piledriver for the pin and retains his unbeaten WrestleMania streak. After the match, Batista shakes 'Taker's hand... and then jumps him from behind and lays him out with a Batista bomb. Boos reign down as the heel Batista is reborn.)
WWE Title Match - Fatal Four-Way
John Cena over Edge, Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels
(Through dirty tricks, Rated RKO are able to take Michaels out of the match first, much to the disappointment of the crowd. Then, Cena has to fight off a 2-on-1 onslaught from the vicious bad guys. After beating him down, Edge and Orton start arguing. Cena takes advantage and takes out Orton with an F-U. When it's down to one-on-one, an exhausted Cena makes Edge tap to the STFU, winning the match. Before he can celebrate, Orton is back in the ring. Rated RKO put aside their differences to beat on the champion... until Michaels comes down and makes the save. After they fight off the heels, Micheals and Cena have a genuine handshake and hug. The torch is passed.)
And Wrestlemania 23 is in the books.
United States Title Match:
Rey Mysterio (or The Hurricane) over MVP by surprise pin
(While I think MVP should win back the title on Smackdown the next week and keep it for a while to build him up, it's the opening match of Mania. The face should go over. In the words of Lance Storm, the crowd wants to pop. Let them pop.)
ECW Ten-Man Tag Match:
The New Breed over the ECW Originals by Snitsky pinning Sabu
(After some high flying spots and wild extreme-style action, Snitsky just takes over and lays some of the originals out. If he is going to be the next to challenge Lashley, I'd start putting him over as a monster here.)
Intercontinental Title Match:
Kenny Dykstra over Super Crazy by small package
(After the match, Kenny demands that referee Steamboat raise his hand over and over again, which Steamboat reluctantly abides. But then Kenny goes too far, demanding Steamboat get on the mic and tell the world that he, Kenny, is the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. When Steamboat refuses, Kenny shoves him. Steamboat responds with karate chops and armdrags that send the young champion scurrying, leaving the legend in the ring for a well-deserved ovation.)
Money in the Bank - Tap-Out Challenge
Chris Benoit over CM Punk in the final 2 by tap-out
(During the match, Benoit and Punk dominate, making all the others tap out to their submission holds. When it goes down to one-on-one, they put on a clinic of holds and reversals until Punk finally gives in to the 10th consecutive crossface. Incidentally, Punk will win the MITB briefcase from Benoit in their follow-up 30-minute Iron Man match at the next Smackdown PPV.)
Motor City Monsters Match:
No contest when they brawl out of the arena and into the parking lot
(In contrast to the previous pure wrestling display, this match just has four monsters fighting all over the building. No issues are solved, but we have a few "Oh my God!" moments of the Great Khali picking up car and throwing it at Kane.)
Retirement Match:
Carlito over Ric Flair by cheating
(Instead of showing Flair the proper respect after the match, Carlito just jumps up and down and overcelebrates the fact that he retired Flair. He doesn't even shake his hand, practically skipping up the aisle. This leaves Flair in the ring to get his deserved ovation.)
TLC Match for the Unified Tag Team Titles:
World's Greatest Tag Team over Kendrick & London and the Hardys
(No need to even describe this one. It's a TLC match.)
Battle of the Billionnaires - Hair vs. Hair Match:
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin (w/ Donald Trump) over Mr. Kennedy (with Mr. McMahon) by Stone Cold Stunner pinfall
(After the match, Austin and Trump take turns shaving McMahon's head while sharing a beer. After realizing they're not good barbers, Trump invites his personal barber to finish the job: Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. After shaving Vince, they enjoy some beers in the ring.)
ECW Title Match - Extreme Rules
Bobby Lashley over Cactus Jack by pinfall
(Foley carries Lashley to a decent hardcore match, ending in a big spot finish. While Lashley is celebrating, Snitsky hits the ring and lays waste to him, ruining his WrestleMania moment.)
World Heavyweight Title Match
The Undertaker over Batista
(In an old-school big man vs. big man match, the two men match power moves until 'Taker finally hits the tombstone piledriver for the pin and retains his unbeaten WrestleMania streak. After the match, Batista shakes 'Taker's hand... and then jumps him from behind and lays him out with a Batista bomb. Boos reign down as the heel Batista is reborn.)
WWE Title Match - Fatal Four-Way
John Cena over Edge, Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels
(Through dirty tricks, Rated RKO are able to take Michaels out of the match first, much to the disappointment of the crowd. Then, Cena has to fight off a 2-on-1 onslaught from the vicious bad guys. After beating him down, Edge and Orton start arguing. Cena takes advantage and takes out Orton with an F-U. When it's down to one-on-one, an exhausted Cena makes Edge tap to the STFU, winning the match. Before he can celebrate, Orton is back in the ring. Rated RKO put aside their differences to beat on the champion... until Michaels comes down and makes the save. After they fight off the heels, Micheals and Cena have a genuine handshake and hug. The torch is passed.)
And Wrestlemania 23 is in the books.
posted by BJ Boston at 2:25 PM
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